UNEXPECTED SOLITUDE


This work was completed during the pandemic. I remember driving to the studio during the early months of the shutdown experiencing this overwhelming feeling of solitude. The roads were deserted, the sidewalks empty. It was so eerily yet beautifully quiet. So much bad shit went down (is still going down)—sickness, death, healthcare workers worked to the bone, lost jobs, lost homes, lost friends and family, lost childhood memories, we’re still reeling from the aftershock. For the sake of the many we all needed to scale back—scale back our work, our spending, our social lives, scale back our selfishness. Collectively and individually it was exhausting. Yet I look back on those early months of the pandemic as utterly peaceful. I’m so grateful that my personal life wasn’t uprooted like so many were. And at times I feel conflicted—moments of guilt wash into my emotional psyche, then comes a moment of gratitude, the next moment is anger, then confusion, and then acceptance, ad infinitum. Yet it is that inner conflict that is important for me to sit with in solitude without pushing away or dominating those uncomfortable feelings but swimming with them. Because when I ignore those feelings or try to numb them, that’s when I feel isolated and alone. Unplugging from the world and seeking solitude is immensely important. Solitude doesn’t mean that we’re alone. Far from it. We each are only a dinghy—a tiny boat in a vast ocean steadfastly tied to other boats weathering angry storms, witnessing gorgeous sunrises, swimming with the wildlife, sharing the bounty, sharing the hardship. Sharing the moments. 

Fragments
2020
Acrylic on Canvas
48 x 36 in.
Every moment is new
2020
Acrylic on Canvas
60 x 48 in.
I tend to watch myself silently
2020
Acrylic on Canvas
60 x 48 in.
In the space between
2020
Acrylic on canvas
60 x 48 in.
Moment by moment
2020
Acrylic on Canvas
36 x 36 in.
Subtle inquiry
2020
Acrylic on Canvas
48 x 36 in.
Paradox of silence
2020
Acrylic on Canvas
36 x 48 in.
Expect wonders
2020
Acrylic on Canvas
24 x 18 in.
Carved out of breath
2020
Acrylic on Canvas
40 x 30 in.
Something to do
2020
Acrylic on Paper
14 x 11 in.
Something to be
2020
Acrylic on Paper
14 x 11 in.
To want but little
2020
Acrylic on Canvas
20 x 16 in.
Where will you go
2020
Acrylic
20 x 60 in. (Diptych)
I wrote in the dark
2020
Acrylic on Canvas
20 x 46 in. (Diptych)
Find eternity in each moment
2020
Pastel on paper
24 x 18 in.
In this moment
2020
Acrylic on Paper
22 x 30 in.
The radiant emptiness of spirit
2020
Acrylic on Cradled Wood Panel
12 x 12 in.